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It was a sunny day when she walked into my office. Or was it cloudy? Rain or Shine, she was gorgeous drop dead gorgeous and she wanted me to get the goods on her no-good cheating husband. No problem, I said, an open and shut case. Little did I know that I was about to embark on the wildest, wettest, wackiest case ever test a private dick’s
sexual stamina the case of Slick Honey. A very sticky Affair indeed.

Starring: Charli, Heather Torrance, Rachel Ashley, Sasha, Selena Steele

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The story involves an underground society of cat people who apparently like to have sex a lot. At one point, the incredibly sexy Selena Steele undergoes an Incredible Hulk-like transformation into a "cat" [this was the use of computer generated effects]. She rips off her blue dress with abandon and thrashes about a bed in a scene sexier than most stripteases filmed for porno. Raven plays her sister, and her tall, slender figure makes for a commanding presence. Zara White is decked out in a tight white dress which shows up her superb ass and firm body, and she is the center of attention in some weird circle jerk [including some guy performing a --- let's just say "unusual" --- act while she crawls all around the floor], but unfortunately does not engage in any sex.

But it is Selena who "Steeles" the show. Dressed up in tight outfits, high heels, and strutting around like she is the hottest woman on earth [which she may very well be], she performs her sex scenes with gusto. Her blowjobs are unbelieveably sensual; she literally throws her whole body with each bob. There is a scene where she gets fucked while sitting on a bar stool by Randy Spears, her legs up in the air, and her tits just spilling out of her dress as the camera goes from a close-up of her face, to a long shot of their bodies bucking back and forth, to a quick close-up of them fucking like an engine piston which will have the viewer finally making use of the repeat A-B button on their player.

Review – The Curse Of The Catwoman (Selena Steele, Racquel Darrian)

(Since this is already my favorite adult film of all time, I can’t see how putting it onto a DVD, improving the picture and sound quality will do anything but move it right to the top of my list of favorite DVDs. The incredible soundtrack is the first thing I noticed. Always a big part of this film, on DVD the music is even crisper and better than ever.)

John Leslie has a way of directing adult videos that combines scorching hot sex, with a credible storyline to make some of the very best in adult cinema. His sense of drama and eroticism are unmatched. From a director who is nearly perfect, this is his most flawless piece of work. His cast, most notably the incredible Tori Welles, is first rate, the cinematography is exquisite, dark and moody. The overall feel is that of a motion picture, not just a jerk off video, and perhaps best of all, it is a movie one can watch with a partner without her getting up and leaving as Max dilates a woman’s vagina, or putting him to sleep as another long haired Fabio looking fellow looks longingly into………..Oh SHIT! WAKE UP, I’m just trying to make a freaking point. Anyway, enough butt kissing on my part, we all know the movie rules, so let’s get to the review and find out why.

The delicious Tori Welles is having marital problems. It seems her husband Mark, Tom Byron, just does not understand her need for adventure. The problem is, we are not talking about nude skydiving, testicular bungee jumping, or other X-Games shit like that. Tori’s idea of a wild time tends to lean toward the sexual, perverse and sometimes even the dangerous.

We move to a party where the guests stand around like mannequins as a trio of very honry lovers grope each other madly. The guys take turns boning beautiful April West from behind while the other sits by jerking off. April always looked almost too pretty to be in porn, but her scenes are passionate, sweaty, lust fests that are to be cherished. This one, although brief, is not exception, with April’s gorgeous behind on display during her doggy, and her slightly more than a handful breasts prominent when she flips over. Scott Irish finally pulls out and cums all over her chest, leaving him in a heaving heap on the sofa. For some reason, his friend just sits there jerking off, while she walks away.

Well fucked, April heads to a mirror to check her make up, but to our surprise, she suddenly isn’t there. It’s Tori staring back from the mirror. Things start out intriguing, and they only get better. Tori finds it hard to get the whole story out to her psychologist without trying to seduce him. When that doesn’t work, Tori goes home to her upset hubby. Poor Tom is very jealous about Tori’s extra cirricular activities. In this scene, as in all their scenes, Tom and Tori prove that they are more than just fuck meat. The emotions are credible and the dialog (Penned nicely by Leslie) is believable and interesting.

Tom gets really confused when his wife does not emerge from the shower. In her place, is Debi Diamond, but the kicker is, that it IS Tori. (Confused, rent the video) The skinny is that Tori is a shape shifter and can transform into anyone she wants to. Having noticed that Tom was checking out Debi the day before, the lusty wife decides to let him see what she would be like. OK, I know you’re thinking "So, where is all the emotional turmoil?" Most guys would give their right nut if their wife could turn into Pamela Anderson or Michelle Phieffer on cue. (Or in my case Kaitlyn Ashley or Tiffani-Amber Theissen.) However, all this seems is too much for Tom. He wants to love Tori for her, and she seems to get off on the torture. (See, I told you there was a mood being set here.)

Debi shows the sort of sexual talent that would later win her Performer of the Year as she takes Tom all the way to the root. No small task even by this scuz guzzling blonde bim’s high standards. This sex scene is perfectly shot, well lit and just the right mix of sexy close ups and beautiful full shots as Debi uses her whole body to make love to Tom as if her life depends upon it. Her hair still dripping from the shower, she rides Tom’s cock, not screaming like a stuck pig, but moaning softly to encourage his strokes deep into her body. This may not be the super slutty Debi Diamond that raincoaters worship, but she is plenty sex in a more subdued manner here, and still manages to sound classy saying "Fuck my mouth." Something he does with absolute glee until he cums all over her face. Then, just as the post climax lull kicks in, Tom is in the arms of Tori once again.

Later, in a wonderful restaurant, the conversation turns to Tori’s activities again, and the volatile brunette excuses herself for a special side dish. She follows Victoria Paris and Peter North into a back office and spies the cute blonde (Does anyone else think she looks like Jenny Garth with big hair and huge boobs?) bobs her head on Peter’s big breadstick. "What a big cock." Tori says so matter of factly that it brings chills to your spine. With that, she is invited to join her busty blonde friend for a double suck job that robs Peter of his (personality?) ability to speak. Seeing that Tori has the oral skills of Hoover, the couple are quick to get her out of her clothes, assuring she’ll stay a while.

A quick glance at Tori’s body is impossible. You have to just stare in amazement at absolute feminine perfection as she disrobes and shows Victoria that she eats pussy as well as she sucks cock. Speaking of steak swallowing, Victoria does an admirable job trying to fit a good amount of Peter’s peter into her tiny mouth. Poor Tom is stuck at the table, while the love of his life is taking a huge cock from behind. By the way, Tori in her thigh high stockings is a very pretty picture. As is Victoria, who was not always known as a nasty girl, sucking Tori’s juices from Peter’s rod as he pulls out. Make no mistake, the two women here dominate the scene, with Peter just providing the meat between them. Tori’s RC is one of the most sensuous things I have ever seen in my life, she is absolutely perfect. To finish things off, Tori gets down to some serious two fisted cocksucking and tit fucking (YES, tit fucking. Hooray!) With her face so perfectly located, what can Peter do,. But decorate that pretty face with thick, white cum. Tori never stops sucking and stroking, instead just leaning here head back to catch the spray as if she were showering in sperm. This is an amazing facial that must go in the all time hall of fame.

(This scene is simply on of the very best ever captured. Perfectly shot, brilliantly performed and Tori just blows away today’s stars with her beauty and total on screen heat.)

We follow Victoria as she meets an odd man, Buck Adams who seems to have magical powers. Before she has time to think about it, they are sitting in a room watching a game of strip gin. This time the dialog is cryptic, and the payoff is a sex scene between Ray Victory, Pamela Rose and Lynn Francis. The strange part is that in a cast of fantastic looking women, these two are not even moderately easy on the eyes. They do seem to be enough for Ray, as the two girls suck him hard and fuck him rather enthusiastically. What is far more exciting to watch is Victoria and Buck going at it on the sidelines.

I never liked the use of two simultaneous scenes. I think it ruins the rhythm, as it does here. However, were it not for the intercut shots of sexy Vicki with a big cock in her mouth, I would have scanned right past the three way. It’s well shot and Ray manages to keep hard through the whole thing, but the women are just too unappealing for me. On the other hand, the sometimes docile Ms. Paris sucks and fucks with pure lust here. Check out those football like boobs bouncing like crazy as she RC’s, watching the three way interracial fuck going on in front of her. No facial (Natch.) but she does smear his jizz all over her tits after he pulls out. For his shot, Ray sprays all over a pale belly. This is the low light of the video, but it is still worth watching for the Buck/Victoria action.

Another intriguing dialog scene leads to perhaps the sexiest scene in the video. Tori stays herself as she seduces and makes love to her husband. Tori’s beauty and her passion are impossible to miss in anything she does, but in this pairing she outdoes herself. If ever there was a perfect female, her name is Tori Welles. She devours his cock like she not only lusts after, but also loves Tom deeply. She has the perfect mix of porn star screen presence and real life lover. You will not see a better looking woman, or one that looks any hotter making love than she does in this scene.

Tori’s incredible seduction scene of her shrink is something to watch if you want to see just how well an adult actress can pull of well written dialog. This aborted attempt to tempt the doc into her pants leads Tori to another adventure. This time, she transfers herself into beautiful bar tramp Selena Steel. Problems start when Selena is cornered and trapped in the basement by psycho stalker Joey Silvera. The only way to calm him is to fuck him. Selena doesn’t seem too worried, slipping into Joey’s arms like Pete Rose into Ray Fosse. (Oh yeah, obscure major league baseball memories from your childhood make REAL good reads Rog.) One of the most attractive women ever on video, Selena always seemed to fuck in a manner that most fit her character. (I believe that would be called acting.) In this case, she takes a pounding from Joey in an urgent, groping, scratching, biting frenzy. After a desperate two position fuck, Selena hops off and starts sucking. Feeling Joey near climax, she proceeds to give him a first class handjob, bringing him off in her palms before having to make a quick exit when Joey launches into a post coital rage. Her narrow escape seems to shake Tori into some major changes.

Her transformation is short lived, however as Tori leaves Tom to go home with Buck Adams. Again, in a display of credible acting, Tori’s lovemaking is more frenzied and out of control in this scene. The love is gone and in its place is pure lust and heat. Her dark eyes smolder with absolute desire for his cock. Don’t get me wrong, there is a romanticism to this scene, however the feel is much different from her pairing with Tom. The energy, of course is really high, as Ms. Welles is one of the only women who can fuck in as manic a manner as Mr. Adams generally does. Great scene on every possible level.

So, what happens in the story? HA! Just the fact that you give a shit should tell you what makes this video so damned special. Not only is the sex very good, but the performers all give credible acting performances and to steal a quote from an ex girlfriend on why this was the only porno she liked, "The people have a reason to fuck." That they do, and that, along with the explosive sexuality of Tori Welles, the magnificent directing of John Leslie, notable beyond sex performances by Tom Byron and Joey Silvera, as well as outstanding sexual efforts from Victoria Paris, Debi Diamond and Selena Steel, make this the most watchable and impressive adult video of the 1980’s, perhaps of all time.

It takes a lot for me to like this movie more than I already did. Improving the picture and sound quality is about the best way I can think of to do so. Now, if we could just have had some behind the scene footage or maybe some director’s commentary to go along with it, I’d say it was the perfect addition to a perfect movie.

The Chameleons: Selena Steele, Tori Welles, Victoria Paris

ANYTHING THAT MOVES is one of those rarities in the adult film world: A movie that spends more time developing its story than it does focusing on the sex. Although I didn’t time it, I’m pretty sure that the actual number of minutes spent on dialogue and plot outweighed the length of the sex scenes. Unfortunately, neither the story or the sex is very interesting, although we are given a pretty good cast to look at and director John Leslie makes a noble effort in trying to give the viewer a good murder-mystery, complete with a NYPD Blue-type interrogation of the lead actress, Selena Steele.

Selena stars along with Tracy Winn as two dancers, and occasional escorts, who are the best of friends. Tracy is trying to deal with her boyfriend, played by Tim Lake, who is a cheating, lying, abusive male. Selena and Tracy make a great couple…one is petite and the other is tall and leggy, but both are fantastic looking and it makes me wonder what ever happened to them. It’s also nice to see an adult film where none of the main characters are blonde, which seems to be almost a pre-requisite in today’s porn.

In the opening scene, Selena and Tracy find themselves at a bachelor party for Joel Lawrence. Joel gets to take Selena in the back, meanwhile, Randy Spears tries to talk Tracy into doing the rest of the guys. She finally agrees on doing two, one of which (of course!) is Randy.

The next day, Tracy’s boyfriend is hitting on a girl (played by Cassidy) right in front of her. He takes her to an adjacent room and starts fucking her even though Tracy is nearby. Once again, just an average sex scene here, although I did find it humorous that one of the club workers sat in the back and played cards even though Tim and Cassidy were going at it right in front of him. I had the same reaction, unfortunately. Neither actor did much to try and inject any passion or eroticism into the scene.

It should be pointed out that while all this is going on, we are constantly flashing back and forth between Selena being interrogated by the police, and what has happened with Selena and Tracy concerning Tim Lake’s character. It becomes obvious very quickly that Tim has been killed by someone and that Selena and Tracy are both prime suspects.

The scene that comes closest to establishing some real sparks in the movie comes next as we first see a semi-threesome between Heidi Kcat, Nick East and Tim Lake. I say "semi" because during certain points of the scene, one of the two men will grab a video camera and start filming the action, thus not participating in it anymore. Meanwhile, Tracy, who has been watching all of this, goes out to her car, where she is soon joined by Heidi and Nick next to the rolled up window. Heidi starts blowing Nick in front of Tracy,who can’t help but start masturbating. Although I was kind of hoping she would roll down the window and help out a little, the scene is still strangely erotic, mostly because I guess it’s not the kind of thing you expect to see when looking out of your car window!

There is a final scene between Selena, Tracy and Steve Drake in the back of a car that really doesn’t have much to do with the rest of the story, but since it is the only scene that Selena and Tracy perform in together (although the closest they come to any girl/girl action is a bit of tongue licking as they blow Steve), it is worth noting.

As I mentioned at the outset of this review, ANYTHING THAT MOVES doesn’t quite live up to what it could have been, considering the talent involved. It mostly fails on a sexual level, never being able to muster up the passion we see in many other adult films. The story, although also somewhat disappointing, is a noble effort, especially since story development is such a rarity in adult film, especially during the period (early 90’s) this movie was made. The video isn’t the best, but probably the best transfer that VCA was able to get from their source material. The audio is fine, and the features, while not extensive, do offer a slide show, the ability to jump to your favorite scene or favorite actress and a listing of catalog titles.

Since I am a fan of both Selena and Tracy, it was nice to see them both in a movie together as the stars, and they certainly looked as sexy as I remember. Although not the highlight of either of their careers, ANYTHING THAT MOVES is certainly one of the better classic titles available on DVD and worth a look for serious porn collectors or fans of either of the actresses.

Anything That Moves – Selena Steele

They may not make them like they used to, but VCA is sure making them look better, this time with Hate To See You Go, yet another fantastic transfer of a classic movie on DVD. If only VCA could find some good supplemental material to put on their classic discs. If they did, I would probably prefer them to recent releases…the video and audio transfers are that good.

Hate To See You Go tells the story of a young married couple, played by Randy Spears and Nina Hartley who inherit (well, it’s her inheritance, not his) a ranch from a deceased relative. Actually, Nina has to share the ranch with her cousin, played by Joey Silvera in another of his classic goofball roles. The ranch is also occupied by Selena Steele and her boyfriend, played by Eric Price, and the two of them get the honor of the first sexual rendezvous of the movie, as Eric gets a nice blowjob from Selena, while Joey watches. Although there is no penetration in this scene, it is one of the hottest I have seen Selena perform, and the cumshot that Eric concludes the encounter with is a really intense one.

Later that night, Selena and Eric are at in again, while across the room, Joey, Marc Wallice and Lauren Brice are involved in a threesome. Once again, Selena steals the show as she intensely rides Eric in some hot reverse cowgirl action. Lauren, who is probably the least appealing woman in this movie, just doesn’t measure up to Selena, so the viewer actually finds themselves waiting for the camera to get off the threesome and back across the room to Eric and Selena.

It turns out that there is much more to the plot than Nina and Randy moving onto a new ranch. Randy is looking to stake claim to the ranch himself, and possibly sell it, and is trying to poison his wife so he will be able to rightfully own the ranch. Now why anyone who was married to someone who looks like Nina Hartley would want to get rid of her is beyond me…but this is a movie, and I guess we’re not supposed to ask those sort of questions!

Joey, as it turns out, may not be as dimwitted as he seems and sends Lauren over to talk to Randy and see if she can’t find out if either Randy or Nina might be up to something. She overhears Randy talking to Jacqueline on the phone about killing Nina, but despite knowing Randy is a dangerous man, she still wants to have sex with him. This is probably the least appealing of all the sex scenes in the film, as Lauren (as mentioned earlier) is the least attractive woman in this movie.

The effects of the pills Randy is using to poison Nina are starting to have an effect on her, and one of the effects seems to be that the pills make her really horny, as she lures Eric Price into her room for some fun. Nina looks fantastic at the beginning of this scene, decked out in a red bra, red panties and of course, red heels. She winds up losing everything but the heels by the time the sex starts, but for those of you who have forgotten how hot Nina was in her prime (heck, she’s still one of the hottest stars out there!), you only need to see this film for a reminder of why she’s one of the legends of the adult industry.

Jacqueline shows up on the ranch to meet Randy, but while walking around, she sees Marc Wallice and Selena doing it in one of the bedrooms. She watches for a while, but is caught by Joey Silvera. Marc and Selena also see her, and the they agree that if she got to watch the two of them, they should get to watch her blow Joey. So while Marc is finishing up with Selena on the inside of the house, Jacqueline is blowing Joey outside.

The final sex scene in Hate To See You Go is between Randy and Jacqueline and is a pretty average scene, remarkable only for the fact that after Randy cums, he goes down on Jacqueline and orally pleases her. It immediately made me wonder when the last time I saw a guy still willing to pleasure a woman after he was finished, and I couldn’t think of a single instance. This is John Leslie (the director of Hate To See You Go) once again giving us something simple, yet something we have hardly (if ever) seen before in an adult film.

Nina catches her husband in bed with Jacqueline, but she faints. Randy now decides that he must increase the poison he is giving her and get rid of her for good. Will he succeed and get the ranch? You’ll have to tune in yourself to find out, but the conclusion is satisfying for the viewer, and doesn’t leave any lose ends, like a lot of other adult features.

Despite what could be stated as being a deceptive box cover (Randy and Selena are featured on the cover, yet never have sex together, or even talk to each other in the movie), Hate To See You Go is a wonderfully transferred classic that has a great story and some very hot sex. It’s yet another in some great classic releases VCA has been putting out on DVD in the last year or so. All I can say is, keep them coming!

Hate To See You Go